Love, Peace and Chocolate Chip Pancakes
by El3v3n
Summary: Sailor Cosmos arrives on Gunsmoke in response to a call for help and inevitably comes face to face with a man so destructive he's been deemed a natural disaster: Vash the Stampede! Cosmos/Bunny X Vash. Complete unless there's more interest.


_Love, Peace and Chocolate Chip Pancakes_

Kochou-hime

**All characters belong to their rightful owners**

Silvery blue eyes squinted where they peered beneath purely white wisps of hair into the distance. Nothingness surrounded the woman who stood alone upon the peculiar sands of a barren desert as she studied the two brightly burning suns shining within a cerulean and cloudless atmosphere. Though one star beamed further away into space than the other, they both brought great light and heat upon the desert planet named Gunsmoke.

'_It's hard to believe people could live here at all,' _The Protector of the Cosmos thought wondrously.

Readjusting her long white staff between her gloved fingers, she looked down upon her purely white fuku and dainty heels. Normally she'd catch a glimpse of an inhabitant and use the Disguise Pen to fit in, but since there wasn't a single soul in sight she had to improvise. In a flurry of feathers, her once great spanning wings along with her staff vanished and in its place the woman stood covered in a knee length tan cloak. Tall black boots replaced her desert unfriendly heels and just after pushing a pair of dark shades against her nose she lifted the hood of her cloak and disappeared in a blur.

Rematerializing amongst civilization, she wryly noted that the small city wasn't all that better off than the empty and sandy plains. The presence of water and a cool area to rest seemed to be a luxury in such a place. Walking past a few drifting tumble weeds in the silent ghost town, Sailor Cosmos pushed through a building's swinging doors and strolled within a local saloon. Filled with only a few patrons, the hooded woman confidently walked up to the bar and grabbed a seat.

"What'll it be?" The bartender, who was currently spending his time drying some glassware asked gruffly.

"I'll have," Cosmos paused to take a deep breath, "A chocolate milkshake with strawberries, banana, whipped cream, gummy bears, rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top! Please." She replied with a wide grin.

"What? What kind of order is that? Where do you think you are!" The man nearly lost his eye patch as he looked unbelievably toward her.

"I know what she's askin' for." A slimy voice came from behind the Warrior of the Stars. "She just wants something smooth and creamy that'll slide down her throat real nice. Well lady, if you've come lookin' I've got exactly what you need." The man chuckled as he leaned against the bar beside her stool. A bolt of electricity coursed through Cosmos' stormy eyes as she shifted her peripheral gaze to the outrageous man. In an almost invisible flash the man fell over, convulsing like a fish out of water on the ground.

"What's wrong with you?" The bartender demanded angrily.

"I dunno! I think I got shocked or something" The man grumbled as he slowly stood and collapsed over one of the bar stools.

'_The wrath of Jupiter for the pervert, and some Venus style persuasion for the bartender," _Cosmos thought as she gently pulled the hood back and over her heart shaped buns of hair. The tavern's server promptly snapped his cigarette in half between his teeth as he looked in awe upon the woman's face. She sat smiling before him, with wide and sparkling blue-gray eyes brimming with happiness. Her long streamers of snow-white hair framed her angelic and heart-shaped face where their ends were lost within her tan cloak. The eight-pointed and golden star upon her forehead gave the woman an exotic appearance, almost as if she was a foreign princess from some unknown land.

"I'm sorry," Cosmos spoke sweetly, "I didn't realize I ordered something inappropriate can you recommend something else?" The bartender quickly scrambled before her.

"No, no! You just wait right there pretty lady! I'll get you that milkshake even if I've gotta make the ice cream myself!" He stuttered and bolted toward the kitchens. Waiting patiently, the star traveler wasn't at all surprised when he returned several minutes later with exactly what she requested. She beamed upon the glorious confection and placing the straw to her lips she batted her eyelashes toward the grinning man.

"How much do I owe you?"

"It's on the house!" The man announced with a blush. After another patron captured his attention at the bar, the disguised Sailor Cosmos sipped from the plastic straw all the while keeping her eyes and ears at attention around the tavern.

Being the peace keeper of time and space was a pretty tough gig sometimes, especially when you were all on your own. The vast and endless universe spanned on forever where it was filled with millions of planets containing sentient life and each and every one had its own unique problems. Though some troubles were admittedly greater than others the Light of Hope viewed even the smallest of disturbances as important. Though this place seemed to be relatively peaceful she had distinctly heard the voice calling to her for help and she was determined to find out exactly what was rattling her instinct. Just as she began slurping the delicious remainder of her dessert drink a pointed complaining voice caught her ears.

"I give up. It's hopeless. We're never going to find him!" A short woman with pixie style dark blue hair groaned as she applied her forehead to the table before her.

"Don't say that, Meryl! The people we talked to in the last town were pretty sure they saw him coming this way!" Another woman, much larger in height and size spoke encouragingly to the other. Her face contained pure happiness making her appearance much different than her exasperated companion's.

"That's what they said last time we ended up on this wild goose chase, Milly! _Everyone _claims to have seen Vash the Stampede. We just keep on missing him, yet we're still stuck cleaning up the mess from all the destruction he leaves." Meryl's words came out in a mumble against the wood surface.

Cosmos shamelessly eavesdropped on the pair as she narrowed her eyes in focus upon the empty glass. Vash the Stampede? Destruction? None of that sounded very good.

"You would think finding a guy with a sixty billion double dollar bounty on his head would be a lot easier than this," the brown haired Milly sighed.

_'Sixty billion double dollars!' _The Sailor warrior almost toppled from her seat. While she didn't know the value of a double dollar...sixty billion was not a small number! Whoever this guy was he sounded pretty dangerous to have that large of a price on his head.

"That's the whole reason why this is so impossible! So many people are after the reward that they'll go after the first guy that vaguely meets his description. If we don't find him and do some damage control he'll bankrupt the agency in insurance claims by decimating this whole planet! Oh Milly, we must be the worst insurance agents ever!"

Sailor Cosmos' eyes burned in determination as she listened to the women's plight. She would help these women with their mission and in doing so put an end to the destruction caused by the villain: Vash the Stampede! Gripping the Lunar Disguise Pen between her fingers she let her eyes close.

_'Disguise Pen, make me a rival insurance agent!' _She mentally instructed and with a tiny flash that was contained within the cloak, the woman's appearance changed drastically.

"What was that I hear? Fellow insurance agents?" A voice announced happily. The two distraught women turned their eyes to a woman at the bar who threw off her cloak in a dramatic fashion. A lady with long golden locks of hair styled into pigtails wrapped into buns at the top of her head smiled toward the pair. She donned a professional, yet stylish appearance with a high waisted knee length skirt that was ruffled at the hem and pale white in hue. Her button up top was pastel pink and fastened up to her collar bone where a silvery scarf was tied into a bow around her neck. Wearing a pair of pink heeled Mary Janes on her feet she quickly clicked them together and flashed the girls a business card.

"The name's Bunny Moon: premier agent of the Starlight Insurance Group," Bunny revealed her pearly whites to the smiling Milly and suspicious Meryl.

"I was unaware there were any other companies insuring Gunsmoke other than the Bernardelli agency." The bluenette pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"We're new to this area. That's why they sent me! I couldn't help but overhear that the two of you are having trouble getting control over a damaging situation. Perhaps I could offer my assistance? I'm the best detective in our agency."

"That would be gr-" Milly began to reply happily but her words were stopped just as Meryl's angry hand clamped over her mouth.

"Why would a rival agent do anything to _help_ us? Aren't you supposed to be here scouting out your own business?" Meryl growled. But, Bunny kept smiling and leaned as she settled a hand casually against her slender waist.

"Well, after hearing the two of you talk I'm going to advise my superiors not to go near this place with a ten foot pole! But since I'm stuck here for another day or so I might as well help you gals out with your ordeal." She spoke merrily. Meryl's eyes softened and she let loose a small puff of air.

"You're definitely smart to go with that advice. While the Humanoid Typhoon is still out there unrestrained you can forget about an insurance company being able to make even the smallest profit." Meryl sighed.

"Humanoid Typhoon?" Bunny asked in alarm.

"That's what they call the guy we're looking for. His name is Vash the Stampede and he's a 'G' class ace gunman who's responsible for single handedly leveling Gunsmoke's third oldest city about twenty years ago. He's been on the run leaving a trail of destruction behind him ever since." The senior Bernardelli agent explained.

"I've heard there's never been another known gunman to be his equal, since he never misses his mark!" Milly added with an oddly cheerful grin. The three women began to make their way outside the tavern.

"Well, what does he look like? Are there any leads?" The golden blonde asked as she shielded her eyes from the blinding sun with a pair of rose colored shades.

"That's just it. There are so many eye witness descriptions and all of them are conflicting. Some say he's a tall and thin blonde man with a red coat while I've heard others say he's a giant man with a Mohawk who's responsible for at least a hundred murderers!" Meryl spoke with slumped shoulders.

"I thought the wanted poster said he was a staunch pacifist?" Milly spoke up confoundedly.

_'So there's no clear knowledge on what this guy looks like or even how he behaves! This might be more challenging than I previously thought.' _Bunny pondered to herself when suddenly, the tall woman to her left thrust her hand into the air.

"Oh-hiyo Vash!" Milly called out joyfully before them.

"Ugh, not this idiot again," Meryl grumbled to herself. Shifting her shaded eyes toward the newcomer, who strangely flinched when Milly called the name of the man they were looking for, Bunny blinked.

The towering man, who stood over a foot over the star warrior's petite height, paused in his steps just as he was stuffing a whole cake donut into his mouth. A brilliant red duster style trench coat clothed his entire slim form beginning at the base of his square jaw and cascading all the way down to his black slacks and buckled boots. With exception of his attractive face, not a solitary patch of skin showed on the man as his hands were covered with similarly clasped coal colored leather. Turning to face them, a few strands of spiky honey blonde locks fell over his eyes as he let loose an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, hello insurance girls," the man greeted them with incredibly dampened enthusiasm. Meryl grit her teeth angrily.

"I hope you're not here to cause trouble again! I shouldn't have to explain to you that we're on a very important mission and somehow you keep getting in our way!" The short woman growled. His eyes narrowed into irritated slits in response.

"And bitchy as ever I see," The blonde man muttered under his breath.

Bunny's right eye began to twitch as she observed this encounter silently. These girls were joking, right? A man who perfectly fit one of the descriptions of the sixty billion double dollar man and who conveniently went by the name "Vash" who they had encountered being troublesome before stood right in front of them and they didn't even pause to consider that he may, in fact, be Vash the Stampede? Shifting his gaze, Vash's brilliant green eyes suddenly flew open in wonder as they fell upon the Sailor Soldier in disguise. His mouth spread into a catlike grin as he quickly _whooshed_ past the annoyed Meryl and stood right before the fellow blonde.

"Well, hello there!" Vash excitedly raised his eyebrows as he smiled from ear to ear down toward her. "I don't believe we've met?" Gently extending her hand to the handsome yet goofy man she put on a friendly smile.

"The name's Bunny Moon and I am a premier agent from the Starlight Insurance Group." She explained as their palms met. "And who might you be?" Bunny's question sounded slightly suspicious as he continued to grin toward her.

"A _super cute_ insurance girl!" He announced eagerly. "For a lady as gorgeous as you I'll be whoever you want me to be!" The tall blonde winked just as a furious flush filled his cheeks. Cosmos' face grew red also, but in anger as she fumed toward the unbelievably flirtatious man before her. Taking in a calming breath she plastered on a feigned cool smile.

"We're looking for 'Vash the Stampede,' and it's absolutely imperative that we find him. Do you perhaps, know or have heard where he might be?" Bunny asked sweetly. The man who practically had hearts in eyes quickly regained composure as he shifted his feet upon the question.

"Uh…" he paused for a moment but immediately beamed as he fell before the small woman on one knee. "I don't know where he is...but I swear I will help you find him, my future wife!" Bunny's face deadpanned on the strange man as he popped back up to his full height and gifted her hand with a pleasant kiss. The woman who had spent hundreds of years traveling the Universe couldn't help but blush as the last man to regard her with such affectionate attention had been Mamoru, and that was so very long ago. Meryl's hand slapping hard against her own forehead broke Bunny's trance as she pulled back her appendage.

"This is so idiotic." The short haired woman growled lowly. Vash immediately locked arms with the other blonde and began leading her to one of the buildings.

"I know! Let's get some chocolate chip pancakes and we can discuss our search plan while we eat!" The presumed bandit suggested cheerily.

"Alright!" Milly spoke happily as she and a reluctant Meryl followed behind the pair.

Bunny kept the corner of her eye on the man she allowed to escort her mistrustfully. She suspected, no, she was _positive _this was the person the two agents were searching for but it seemed almost unbelievable that he was guilty of such heinous crimes. Over time Sailor Cosmos had become very proficient at reading people, and Vash was not a bad person in even the most minute sense. The supposed gunman's aura beamed brilliantly with love and devotion to all the living creatures around him. If Serenity hadn't already been informed of his wrong doings she would have never distrusted him; it was almost as if he didn't have it in him to harm a fly!

"After you, Super Cute Insurance Girl!" Vash practically giggled. Looking toward the silly man as if he had grown a third eye, Bunny walked gracefully in front of him and through the doorway. Quickly rushing ahead of her, so fast that the swinging door connected squarely with Meryl's face, he pulled out a chair at one of the tables and politely pushed the seat in after she sat down. He then plopped unceremoniously into the chair beside her, grinning all the while.

"I guess he only shows manners toward blondes," Meryl grumbled as she marched to the other side of the table and stiffly sat down. Milly, who really didn't seem to care one way or the other, happily sat beside her senior and across from their two new companions.

"Twelve stacks of chocolate-chip pancakes, please!" Vash's green eyes lit up as he placed his order with the waitress. Turning to the skeptical blonde at his side he poked her shoulder playfully. "One for you and eleven for me!"

"Just one for me you say? Well, that won't be enough." Bunny huffed as the two insurance agents watched the pair with widened eyes.

"Eh? Well each stack has six pancakes and you're so tiny!" Vash snickered. Crossing her arms, she turned to the waitress and smiled.

"The twelve orders are just for him, I'll take thirteen for me, please!" The playful man's jaw nearly hit the table as the flustered waitress walked away scribbling down their requests.

Before long, after an army of servers had carried the plates of chocolate delights to their table, a fit of flying elbows emerged as Vash and Bunny inhaled their breakfast styled feast at a pace that made the restaurant's other patrons gawk. After each syrupy morsel had been consumed Vash looked reverently upon the woman sitting beside him.

"A girl that can eat more pancakes than me? Yup, I'm sure of it, this is true love!" He declared shamelessly and starry eyed as the petite blonde could only respond with a triumphant smile.

"If you two are done cleaning out this entire restaurant of food, can we talk about finding the Human Typhoon!" Meryl suddenly demanded. The two blondes wore equally sheepish smiles as the Bernardelli agent expelled an exasperated breath.

"Well-" Bunny began but her words were promptly silenced when the sound of gunshots and the crash of the restaurants doors slamming against the wall interrupted her. Focusing her brilliant blue orbs upon the doorway, the fake insurance agent flinched when five brawny men stormed into the restaurant with pistols drawn.

"Everybody get down on the ground right now! This is a stick up!" A man with a black bandana wrapped around his mouth roared as he shot a warning shot into the ceiling.

Screams erupted throughout the building, and though the blonde magic wielder's first response was to jump up to defend everyone her breath hitched when she suddenly found herself knocked to the floor under a protective arm. Turning her attention to the arm's owner, she gaped at the red jacketed man who stared intensely in the direction of the bandits. His face was settled in a stone-like frown where his emerald green orbs no longer showed even the slightest trace of mirth. The completely transformed Vash quickly regarded the woman lying beside him on the floor earnestly. It was here Cosmos realized that this man was very different than the others she had encountered so far on this planet. The best way to tell a person's true age was through their eyes, and finally catching a true glimpse of his she knew absolutely Vash was no twenty-something spring chicken.

"Stay down here with the girls, everything is going to be alright." He instructed seriously and before Bunny could respond he quickly hopped to his feet.

"Excuse me!" Vash exclaimed loudly while wildly waving his hands into the air. "Do you think I could go to the bathroom first if this robbery is going to take a really long time?"

"What? Are you crazy?" One of the bandits bellowed as he promptly jammed the butt of his shotgun into the blonde's gut.

"Oof!" Vash groaned as he doubled over. Two of the men rushed over to the tall man and grabbed a hold of both of his arms.

"Search him for weapons." The ring leader ordered as the two men complied.

"What in the _hell_ is this?" One of the ruffians asked as he struggled to hold up an enormous silver revolver he pulled from the captive's jacket. "This is the heaviest forty five I've ever seen!" He groaned as the head of the group snatched the weapon from his hands. Bunny watched on silently with narrowed eyes. So he _was _carrying a gun? If this man truly was the notorious gunman who had managed to destroy an entire city on his own _why_ didn't he retaliate?

"Damn," the man with the black bandana whistled as he held the gun up to his nose and pulled open the weighty chamber. "Not only is this thing too heavy to properly shoot with but the alignment is off! What a piece of crap!"

"Uh, yup! It's a pretty terrible gun," Vash commented a little too happily, "but I still like it so if you could be careful with it I'd really appreciate it!" The leader rolled his eyes as he slammed the gun onto the table above where Bunny, Meryl and Milly hid.

"Hey-" Vash began to complain but before he could speak a word further a fist went flying into his jaw so hard that he crumbled to the ground right before the Sailor Soldier. "Owie…" He whined. Bunny worriedly leaned over him putting a hand against where he had been struck.

"Are you alright?" She asked, but twisted her face in confusion when he stared toward her neckline and started giggling. Looking down she noticed a button had come loose on her shirt revealing an ample of amount of cleavage as she was bent over. Promptly slapping him in the face she quickly remedied the fashion faux pas. "Pervert," she muttered under her breath.

"Ugh," Vash groaned as he collapsed back on the ground.

"Please, just take the money and leave!" The restaurant's owner begged as he held up a measly stack of double dollars. He gasped when one of the robbers knocked the bills from his hand.

"That won't cut it old man, so here's the deal." The head of the bandit's projected his voice around the room. "You are all our hostages, we've sent one our own to demand one million double dollars for payment for your release. So, sit still and don't cause any trouble because if you do you'll be pretty good for nothin' with a bullet between your eyes."

"Hey Boss!" One of the men standing by the window called out. "The Sheriff's outside with Jackie kneeling on the ground in handcuffs!"

"What!" The man with the covered face said as he bolted to the window. Outside the window the town's Sheriff with almost thirty armed men behind him stood holding a megaphone.

"Let the innocent citizens go free and we'll let your friend and the lot of you leave this town unharmed. There's no need for violence gentleman because I assure you, a little place like this ain't got a million double dollars to give ya!" The law official declared.

"That stupid curr!" The head criminal roared.

"I guess he ain't takin' us very seriously." Another suggested. Whipping around, the thieves' commander ripped a nearby waitress from where she kneeled on the ground.

"Maybe one dead girl will show them just how serious we really are!" He suggested blackly as he slowly reached for his holster. Bunny's eyes dilated in horror as the poor girl cried out in fear. Preparing to spring into action a sudden movement stopped her descent. A quick flashing blur of red darted from the ring leader to the entire restaurant, and when the intending murderer pulled the trigger of his gun to the woman's head, nothing happened.

"What in blue blazes, I'm out of bullets…someone get me another pistol!" Roughly grabbing another gun, he tried the same maneuver and went red in the face, when again, a bullet didn't pierce the now sobbing girl. A small clinking sound filled Bunny's ears as she carefully tossed her gaze to where Vash still lay on the ground in front of her, staring angrily toward where the girl was being held captive. On the floor near his pocket lay a single bronze bullet on the ground. Reaching forward and gripping onto the lying man's collar so he was forced to look at her she stared upon him menacingly.

"Who are you? _What _are you?" She hissed almost silently. Lifting an eyebrow, Vash hardened his gaze back at her.

"Funny, since I was wondering the same thing about _you_." He spoke even more quietly. As Bunny's eyes flew wide, Vash suddenly leapt up to his feet. "Dontchya think you all should go now? You guys don't have any bullets so you really can't do anything to us." Vash spoke goofily with a shrug. Quickly snatching the knife at his holster, the ring leader suddenly yelped when the gunshot sent the blade clattering to the ground. The large .45 caliber revolver smoked in Vash's hands as he held it before him where he had perfectly hit his mark just milliseconds before.

"What the-" The man with a gun leveled upon him breathed.

"Let go of the girl and get all of your men out of here, _now_." Vash demanded with narrowed emerald eyes. Immediately throwing the poor girl back to the ground, the bandit put his hands into the air.

"Listen up Ace, if you join us we'll split the ransom with you because here's the God's honest truth: you're holding a six bullet poorly aligned revolver and there's twelve of us. Even if we ain't got bullets in our guns we still have knives and fists and we'll take out as many people as we can before the law gets in here." At this Bunny began to leap up but fell to her knees when Vash suddenly shifted to stay in front of her.

"Stay down," he ordered softly, not taking his eyes off the threatening man.

"I can help," Bunny growled, but the red dressed gunman didn't flinch.

"I may only have five shots left, but I only need one to take all of you down." Vash spoke ominously earning a chuckle from the bandit. "Don't make me shoot."

"And just who in the hell do you think you are? Vash the-"He paused and suddenly his eyes went wide. "Vash the-" Realization read across his face as he suddenly put his hands behind his head and fell to his knees. The other criminals quickly followed suit.

"We surrender!"

* * *

><p>Just a little two-shot I've been working on. I recently have been watching (re-watching I suppose!) Trigun and this came to mind! This is supposed to be somewhat light and humorous, the stuff I've been writing lately has been so dark and brooding with The Ostiary so I thought I'd mix it up a bit!<p>

So- in the true nature of Trigun things have gone from silly to serious in a flash! The action isn't quite over yet, Cosmos will have her chance to show her skills next time in this two-part deal!

(And just a short AN: I don't actually hate Meryl, but she can be a little bitchy sometimes, eh?)

Please Read and Review!

~Kochou-hime


End file.
